Self-Aggrandizement: November 2006 Archives

Insider
Filed November 30, 2006 10:52 PM.

Fending off a cold, and still recovering from week after week of travel, I'm looking forward immensely to a weekend of chicken soup on the couch as rain pitter-patters on my apartment's windows.

It doesn't take much to make me happy.

Recap
Filed November 27, 2006 11:48 AM.

How was the trip? Well, long.

But also, fortunately, good. Despite the stress of hosting twenty-something people for Thanksgiving, of introducing Jess to my parents and then having them all spend nearly a week together, of generally trying to align all the disparate spheres of my life, everything went about as smoothly as I could have probably hoped.

Still, as I often feel after time away, I think I need a second vacation just to recover from the first.

Thanksgiving
Filed November 23, 2006 7:00 PM.

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."
- Thornton Wilder

Meet the Parents
Filed November 21, 2006 7:15 PM.

Far and away, Thanksgiving is the most important day of the year. Or so it would seem from the weight placed upon the holiday by my mother. Skip heading home to California for nearly any other event, and she won't bat an eye. But my brother or I miss Thanksgiving dinner? That's a hanging offense.

So, per usual, I'm off to San Francisco to eat turkey. This year, however, I'm dragging Jess in tow. Because while I've met her parents a few times (due to their proximity in nearer Boston), she's yet to meet mine.

I've gone back and forth between thinking that this week is a wonderful or a terrible time for that first meet-up, unsure whether the collective preparatory push of cooking and cleaning and table-setting will give us something to focus on other than the inherent weird awkwardness, or simply leave everyone even further on stressed-out edge, compounding the mess of it all.

Whichever it is, however, we land in SFO in about an hour; it seems I'll soon find out.

Blame Our Mummy
Filed November 20, 2006 10:48 AM.

What happens when my brother and I are left with an hour free and several leftover rolls of toilet paper deemed insufficiently soft for actual wiping use:

Eat This
Filed November 16, 2006 3:17 PM.

As much as France is regarded the culinary capital of the world, and as much as I'd consider myself a foodie, I must admit I'm not a huge fan of French food. At Italian restaurants, I often find I'd happily eat anything on the menu. At French, I often find there's hardly anything on the menu I'd happily eat.

The bottoming out of this occurred at a cute little brasserie overlooking the Seine, where Jess pointed out something being eaten at the next table over, and I deduced from side-dishes that it was likely the Jarret de Porc.

Fortunately, the expression of the waiter upon my ordering led to a sign-language conversation in which I deduced that I was actually on the verge of eating pig knuckles. And though Jess was people-watching, rather than observing that silent exchange, which led to a Laurel and Hardy routine of her explaining in French that I wanted the Jarret, and me explaining to her that no, I most certainly did not, I eventually avoided that cartilaginous fate in favor of something far more tame.

On one evening, however, on a friend's strong recommendations, we headed over to Le Reminet, a New French bistro on the Left Bank. And while one or two menu items were, indeed, terrifying, the vast majority looked exactly like something I'd actually want.

And when they arrived, want them I did. The food was excellent - amongst the better meals I've had in my life - and we left after countless courses stuffed to the point that we could barely even walk.

Maybe the Frogs are on to something after all.

Quote Du Jour
Filed November 16, 2006 2:56 PM.

"Never fuck your hero. It's all downhill from there. "
- Sarah Brown

Touche
Filed November 14, 2006 10:38 PM.

"Wherever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it's happening."
- P.J. O'Rourke, Peace Kills: America's Fun New Imperialism

Je Ne Comprends Pas
Filed November 14, 2006 7:02 PM.

Any time I'm outside of the US, I inevitably worry that I look like an American. Sure, on balance, I love this country. But so do fat, middle-aged men on bus tours, who roam the streets of Florence or Barcelona in sweatpants, white sneakers, and "God Bless Kansas!" t-shirts. And, as a result, nearly everyone in the rest of the world looks down upon my fellow countrymen enough to provide us noticeably worse service in their cabs, hotels, shops and restaurants.

So, it was some small relief that Jess and I, while in Paris, were able to more or less blend. At least until midway into any given conversation, which inevitably went like this:

Clerk: Payerez-vous par l'argent comptant ou la carte de credit?

Me: Oui.

Clerk: [Confused pause] Payerez-vous par l'argent comptant ou la carte de credit?

Me: [Blank smile]

Clerk: Je suis desole?

Me: [More blank smile]

Clerk: Ah. [Raised, disdainful eyebrow] You are not French.

Which, as Jess pointed out, likely meant that through the (often rather lengthy) first, one-sided half of conversations, people were assuming we were French, but simply deaf or retarded.

Interestingly, they still liked us better at that point than when they deduced we spoke English.

Over and Out
Filed November 8, 2006 3:09 PM.

On the Metro North right now, headed up to Connecticut to deliver the aforementioned Extreme Entrepreneur Tour keynote. As I pulled the slides together mainly last night, the whole thing admittedly lacks the polish I might have hoped for. But, as readers of this site have doubtless already deduced, if I can do anything, it's talk out of my ass for long, relatively articulate stretches even when I have pretty much nothing to say. Fingers crossed.

Then, more excitingly, I head back to NYC, retrieve Jess, and subway out to JFK, to hop on a flight to Charles de Gaulle. I haven't been to Paris for several years, and I hear the croissant calling my name.

And while I'll (unusually) be leaving the laptop behind, I'll still be bowing to the demands of Cyan's current surprisingly ongoing success, and carting along my BlackBerry Pearl. If nothing else, it should give me something to do as I wait outside the dressing rooms in Bon Marche.

Flickr users, keep your eyes peeled; if the technology cooperates, I'll be photoblogging the (mis)adventures while they're still underway.

Rock the Vote
Filed November 7, 2006 12:34 PM.

If you haven't already, get off your lazy ass and head to the polls.

Or, conversely, forfeit your right to complain as this country continues to go to hell in a handbasket.

It's one or the other, thanks.

Talk to Me
Filed November 5, 2006 7:00 PM.

This Wednesday evening, I head off to Paris for a long weekend with Jess.

But, before I do, I train up to Connecticut to keynote the next stop of the Extreme Entrepreneur Tour, which brings "the world's top young entrepreneurs to college campuses". Ah, how disappointed these kids will be to get me instead.

(As an aside, the tour is spearheaded by Michael Simmons and his wife Sheena Lindahl, who were just named to this year's BusinessWeek's Top 25 Entrepreneurs Under 25. The final ranking is vote-driven, and I personally vouch for these two as more than worthy of the top slot, so go cast your ballot in their favor.)

For the keynote, I'm apparently supposed to babble for forty-five minutes or so about how to start companies and take over the world. But, as of this evening, I don't actually have anything prepared. So, armed with a legal pad, a fountain pen, my keen insights and biting wit, I've sat down to map out a rough outline of the wisdom I can pass along.

In the process, I flashed on a clear image of the last time I gave a similar talk, a few years back, to a group of Ivy League business school students. And I started out that talk by telling the students they were older and smarter and more experienced than I, and that they shouldn't really even be listening to what someone like me was saying. During which, every single one of them was dutifully writing down in their notebooks "don't listen to what this guy is saying..."

As my suggestions of skepticism seemed to have little impact then, this time through, I'm falling back on one of the wisest poets I know, Dr. Seuss, for a poem that should hopefully more clearly set the tone. As it's one of my personal favorites, and a great one to keep in mind as you slog ahead through any life path, I'm copyimg it here below:

My Uncle Terwilliger on the Art of Eating Popovers

My uncle ordered popovers
From the restaurant bill of fare.
And, when they were served, he regarded them
with a penetrating stare...
Then he spoke great Words of Wisdom
as he sat there on that chair:
"To eat these things," said my uncle,
"You must exercise great care.
You may swallow down what's solid...
BUT... you must spit out the air!"

And... as you partake of the world's bill of fare,
that's darned good advice to follow.
Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.
And be careful what you swallow

Darned good advice to follow, indeed.

Shabbat Wisdom
Filed November 4, 2006 10:21 AM.

"In a place where there is no man, be a man."
- Ethics of the Fathers, 2:5

Techmology
Filed November 3, 2006 3:05 PM.

For the past several years, I've had an account on Facebook. A good friend of mine was their head of biz dev, and another served a stint as the company's president, so I signed up on their request, to provide some user interface feedback in the relatively early days of the site.

After which, I more or less forgot that I had even signed up in the first place. Being old and out of school and no longer even vaguely aware of what's cool with the kids these days, I had no idea that I was supposed to be using the site obsessively, checking in several times each and every day (as the average user inexplicably does). Instead, my account lay largely fallow. Which was perfectly fine with me.

But then, a few months back, I started getting friend requests from anyone I'd ever met two to ten years younger than I. As a result, suddenly, at least a few times a week, I was logging into Facebook. And while I must admit I still don't completely grasp the site's appeal, I'm finally and undeniably on there, a real (albeit rather uncommitted) Facebook user.

Early this week, I took my Facebook-ship up a notch, having been added by my brother as an officer to my very first Facebook group: "I Live at the Russian Samovar". (Which, as I do, how could I possibly refuse?)

And though I'm not really sure what that's about either, I have the sense that I'm supposed to now be pimping the group out. I'm sure there's some way to link to it, or to invite you all, or whatever. But as anyone likely to join on probably understands the site far better than I have the patience or desire to, I'm just going to say it's out there, and that all of you young alcoholics should get in on it, whether you've actually been to Russian Samovar, or whether you're just happy to support the undisputed category king for "New York Russian mafiosi vodka bar part-owned by Mikhail Baryshnikov."

For those on the fence, I copy below our group's manifesto:

Comrades!

Let us leave our plows to instead join arms in a unanimous decry of solidarity!

Let us lift high our glasses to toast the People's Party of Inebriation!

Let us cast away the opressive yoke of capitalist early morning work hours!

Let us marinate like fine matjes herring in flavored vodka until we cannot speak our home addresses to impatient cab drivers who retrieve us on the nearby Broadway corner!

Let us honor mother Russia with shot and shot and shot of Russian Samovar's fine fruit-infused vodka until we vomit on the poor out-of-town assholes waiting in line for Hairspray next door!

Long live the Party! Na zdorovje!

Join up. And add me as a friend, I guess. But don't send me messages on the site, because fuck knows I'm not going to try to figure out how to pick those up.

Insider Filed November 30, 2006 10:52 PM.

Recap Filed November 27, 2006 11:48 AM.

Thanksgiving Filed November 23, 2006 7:00 PM.

Meet the Parents Filed November 21, 2006 7:15 PM.

Blame Our Mummy Filed November 20, 2006 10:48 AM.

Eat This Filed November 16, 2006 3:17 PM.

Quote Du Jour Filed November 16, 2006 2:56 PM.

Touche Filed November 14, 2006 10:38 PM.

Je Ne Comprends Pas Filed November 14, 2006 7:02 PM.

Over and Out Filed November 8, 2006 3:09 PM.

Rock the Vote Filed November 7, 2006 12:34 PM.

Talk to Me Filed November 5, 2006 7:00 PM.

Shabbat Wisdom Filed November 4, 2006 10:21 AM.

Techmology Filed November 3, 2006 3:05 PM.