Self-Aggrandizement: July 2006 Archives

Professionalism
Filed July 31, 2006 3:30 PM.

Annotated last paragraph of an email from me to the CEO of a successful digital distribution company:

That said, I'd be happy to meet up for drinks, though would also love to get you on the phone with [San Francisco-based Cyan VP] Josh [Pincus] at some point, as he's our point-man for all things digital. Would Wednesday or Friday afternoon work for a call? And, sometime next week for a round of drinks?

Last paragraph of the CEO's reponse:

As for drinks, my drinking schedule is COMPLETELY OPEN next week, and I am ashamed. Monday at 8:30 AM EST before work?

Then, capping it all off, an email to both of us from Josh Pincus:

A call at that time on Wednesday works for me. Drinks sound good too; I'll be at a bar at 5:30 AM Monday so that we're all drinking at the same time.

other Josh

Worst part is, come Monday at 5:30/8:30 AM, there's at least a 50% chance we'll actually be having those drinks.

Cyan Pictures: we take this shit serious.™

Look Out Picasso
Filed July 29, 2006 10:55 AM.

My bar-napkin masterpiece, "Naked Lady / Moose":

[photo courtesy H. Hunter and four glasses of Maker's Mark]

Dry Humor
Filed July 27, 2006 6:34 PM.

Continuing the 'social experimentation' fun, as of this morning, I've started writing messages backwards on my large apartment windows with a dry-erase marker, curious to see if they generate a response from the lawyers (for whom it should read forward) in the skyscraper across the street.

First up:

"For a good time call [my brother's cell number]"

Though he's out of town for the weekend, I suspect I should nonetheless hear back from him rather quickly if this works.

Dick Move
Filed July 26, 2006 6:01 PM.

1. Sit at the bar.

2. Look for a table full of women.

3. Get the bartender to fill a bunch of highball glasses with ice water, garnishing each with a piece of fruit.

4. Get a waitress to bring the garnished ice water to the table of women; have her tell them that the the drinks are "compliments of the man at the bar."

5. Graciously acknowledge with a small wave and nod.

6. Wait for them to realize you've sent them water; let the hilarity ensue.

F. Scott
Filed July 24, 2006 10:56 AM.

Contrary to what the (lack of) content on this site over the last week and a half might lead you to believe, the release of The Oh in Ohio didn't actually kill me. In fact, I couldn't have been more pleased with how it's turned out - in one fell swoop we've elevated Cyan to a serious player in the film distribution world.

But, frankly, I'm sure you don't give a shit. You want me to, in the emailed words of a long-standing friend, "get back to going on disastrous dates and then writing about it in painful detail."

So, by way of apology, I go one better: today I'm posting the inaugural episode of The F. Scott & Friends Bourbon and Brylcreem Hour, a new and hopefully semi-regular podcast narrated by the illustrious Sarah Brown and me, in which we discuss such important topics as blue balls, the morning-after pill, and Aaron Burr.

It was recorded Friday evening while both of us were plastered, so I take no responsibility for botching the Kennedy quote, nor for inexplicably using a Cajun accent whenever I say something in French.

But, frankly. it's pretty damn good. Give it a listen, and feel free to weigh in with suggestions, or ideas for discussion topics for future episodes. Unless the combined appallment of Sarah's and my mothers prevent us from ever doing something like this again.

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Download as an MP4 or as an MP3

[On some browsers, you may need to right-click and 'save the link as...']

(Time: 47:52; Size 22.7MB)

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Oh in Ohio: Press Roundup
Filed July 14, 2006 1:59 PM.

"This nicely naughty indie is full of unexpected pleasures...a feel-good movie about feeling good."
- New York Times

"One of the wittiest and most intoxicating sex comedies to come along in years"
- Oakland Tribune

"It can't help but leave you with a good feeling."
- Los Angeles Daily News

"Posey and Rudd are the real deal."
- LA Weekly

"Danny DeVito steals the show."
- Los Angeles Times

"Hilarious - and in all the appropriate places."
- Ain't It Cool News

"Satire is awfully hard to pull off, but screenwriter Adam Wierzbianski exhibits a flair for it."
- San Francisco Chronicle

"Blithely blurs the line between risqué and raunchy."
- Variety

"Your summer film has finally arrived."
- Cleveland Plain Dealer

Holy Crap!
Filed July 13, 2006 10:27 AM.

We've already sold out the Friday Oh in Ohio screenings in Cleveland; here's hoping for full houses tomorrow night in NYC, SF and LA as well.

Oh Oh Oh
Filed July 12, 2006 6:35 PM.

This Friday night, Cyan Pictures releases THE OH IN OHIO, starring Parker Posey, Paul Rudd, Danny DeVito, Mischa Barton, Heather Graham and Liza Minnelli.

It's in theaters in and around New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles and Cleveland this weekend, then expands nationally in August.

Ohio won the audience award at every festival in which it competed, and has pulled in a slew of strong pre-release reviews (from places like Variety and The Hollywood Reporter and Ain't it Cool News ). Check out the the trailer and see for yourself

So, watch the film this weekend. And, if you're watching it on Friday night, join us at one of our informal bi-coastal premiere parties.

New York: See the film Friday at 7:30pm @ the Loews 19th St. Then head down to B Bar (40 E. Fourth St.) and get plastered.

San Francisco: See the film Friday at 7:30pm @ the Landmark Lumiere. Then head over to Vertigo (1160 Polk St.) and get equally plastered.

Los Angeles: See the film Friday evening, wherever you want. Then head to Sushi Dan (8000 W. Sunset Blvd.) from 10:00 on and get plastered with sushi nearby.

Oh in Ohio. In theaters Friday. Be there. Bring friends.

Thanks much,

josh

Shiner
Filed July 9, 2006 7:05 PM.

Watching the sixth season of the West Wing on DVD last week, I was struck by a scene in which White House Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman heads over to the office of Republican Senator Arnold Vinick, to find the Senator enrapt in shining his shoes.

"Mr. Chairman."
"Shine your own shoes, Josh?"
"No. I can't say that I do."
"My father used to say, you can't trust a man who doesn't shine his own shoes." Looks down at Josh's feet "Does anyone shine those things?"
"Not really. No."

At this bit of dialogue, I flashed on my own shoe rack - brown boots and black oxfords slowly descending towards the same scuffed blur of grey. And I thought, perhaps it's time to start shining.

So, earlier this afternoon, I picked up a brush and a stack of polishes at the local Duane Reade. And, in between chipping away at the huge stack of emails in my inbox (Oh in Ohio, T-minus five days), I set about shining my shoes.

Thus far, I'm hugely pleased, both by the finished shoes - which look surprisingly good considering my rookie shiner status - and by how I feel. Perhaps it's just the inhaled polish fumes talking, but, in a line of work that seems always a nebulous, swirling mess, there's something remarkably gratifying about getting something finite, real, noticeable and concrete accomplished, just within the space of a single afternoon.

Feeling the Love
Filed July 8, 2006 9:22 AM.

Two quotes from the past 24 hours that totally made my week:

"You know today is our three year friend-aversary? That's three wasted years I totally could have spent on someone else."
- Sarah Brown

"Who is this 'Joshua Newman' asshole?"
- Danny DeVito

Balls of Steel
Filed July 4, 2006 5:14 PM.

On this, our nation's birthday, I look back upon the framers of our Constitution, those proud members of the Continental Congress, and think: our Founding Fathers had some serious cojones.

I mean it. Huevos gigantes. Because I look at the process of starting a company - the terrifying difficulty of getting going in the first place, the utterly overwhelming process of faking everything on the fly, of coming up with answers as you go along, writing and re-writing the rules of how it all works - and I think, if that's how hard it is to start a company, what must it be like to start a country?

So, from one entrepreneur to another, each July 4th, I toast wholeheartedly the Founding Fathers. Despite its flaws, as startups go, their whole 'United States ' thing could have turned out a hell of a lot worse.

Public Service Announcement
Filed July 1, 2006 7:43 PM.

Warning! Warning! As of this weekend, my younger brother David now also lives in Manhattan, thus doubling the number of drunken young Newmans in New York that women would be well advised to stay away from.

Professionalism Filed July 31, 2006 3:30 PM.

Look Out Picasso Filed July 29, 2006 10:55 AM.

Dry Humor Filed July 27, 2006 6:34 PM.

Dick Move Filed July 26, 2006 6:01 PM.

F. Scott Filed July 24, 2006 10:56 AM.

Oh in Ohio: Press Roundup Filed July 14, 2006 1:59 PM.

Holy Crap! Filed July 13, 2006 10:27 AM.

Oh Oh Oh Filed July 12, 2006 6:35 PM.

Shiner Filed July 9, 2006 7:05 PM.

Feeling the Love Filed July 8, 2006 9:22 AM.

Balls of Steel Filed July 4, 2006 5:14 PM.

Public Service Announcement Filed July 1, 2006 7:43 PM.