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Guy Get-Ups
Filed Thursday, October 20 2005.

With Halloween just around the corner, my brother helpfully shared three costume ideas for creatively challenged yet lecherous and politically incorrect male youths (i.e. his Fraternity brothers); I present them for anyone who doesn't similarly live in Denver, and can therefore shamelessly rip off his suggestions:

  1. Plastic Surgeon: Buy, borrow or steal a set of medical scrubs. Scrawl 'free breast exams' on a piece of cardboard.

  2. God's Gift to Women: wrap a bow and ribbon around your neck.

  3. Proselytizing Mormon: Dress in a dark suit, white shirt and conservative tie. Buy a copy of the Book of Mormon. Knock on people's doors, but instead of saying 'trick or treat', ask if they'd have time to talk about a 'book that's really changed your life'.