Self-Aggrandizement: Let the Games Begin

A few weeks ago, I blogged about a night on the town with Rob Barnum, who heads up Cyan + Long Tail's West Coast office, and who had ostensibly come to New York to get some film-related work done.

Instead, that week our best work took place out of the office, on Friday night, at a succession of West Village bars. There, we spun variations on a yarn about being blimp racers that was so over-the-top I couldn't believe it consistently and repeatedly worked in picking up women.

Sure, I'd long believed that the secret to the bar scene is quickly and positively differentiating yourself from the slew of generic lotharios working their best "come here often?" lines. But I had never before pushed so deep into the realm of the ridiculous in the process, and never before seen such effortless results.

So, in the middle of last week, I decided I'd take things up yet another few notches. Which led me, at a bar near Gramercy Park, to instigate and referee a rock-paper-scissors tournament between two groups of attractive women.

I tried it again in Boston this past Friday night, with girls so jadedly halter-topped as to preclude nearly any other approach, and was stunned to find the ploy again worked flawlessly.

At a subsequent bar, I inked out a tic-tac-toe game on the back of a napkin, and requested the waitress deliver it to a group of girls at the far end of the bar. I told the waitress to deliver it circuitously, though, and to bring the napkin back and forth, between moves, surreptitiously enough to keep my identity as anonymous challenger secret as long as possible.

Which worked, in short, even better than rock-paper-scissors, and culminated in numbers not only from two of my amused adversaries, but from the intervening waitress as well, who tucked hers in alongside the bill.

Still, I'm not sure if I'll have the chance to give any of them a call; I'll be too busy working up my Yahtzee game and Rubik's Cube skills. If tic-tac-toe works well, then either of those should absolutely kill.

Let the Games Begin Filed Wednesday, July 27 2005.

Let the Games Begin
Filed Wednesday, July 27 2005.