Self-Aggrandizement: damaged goods

Several months back, I dislocated my shoulder in a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu match. Then, soon after, I made matters worse by assuming my shoulder was fine and military pressing with too much weight, degenerating into poor form that further impinged the shoulder. I decided to take the ever popular 'ignore the problem and hope it goes away' approach, but after several months the shoulder continues to flare up from overhead pressing movements, especially those behind the plane of my upper body. While I'm no physician, I'm pretty sure that I've injured my rotator cuff, the infraspinatus in particular.

Technically, I should probably completely lay off the shoulder for the next few months. But I suspect I'll end up simply taking it a bit easier in the weight room and continuing to work hard in the ring. In the world of kickboxing and no holds barred fighting, people frequently talk about the importance of 'playing with pain.' Which is to say, the importance of keeping going, even when you're hurting; pushing yourself as hard as it takes to win.

You start to learn about yourself when you bump up against your limits; you determine whether you have the willpower to spur yourself on, even when every muscle in your body is tired, sore, begging you to stop. Because if you dicover that you can't, you might as well hang up the gloves and take up macramé.

Quick Addendum. In response to the two people who emailed to ask if I won the fight after my shoulder was dislocated: You're damn right I did. Normally, I'm extremely calm and collected in the ring; my teammates jokingly call me 'the zen machine.' But when my shoulder popped, I lost it. I went to town on the guy, and the ref had to pull me off him to end the fight. It takes a lot to really piss me off, but once I've crossed that threshold, look out.

damaged goods Filed Wednesday, May 22 2002.

damaged goods
Filed Wednesday, May 22 2002.