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Look Both Ways
Filed Tuesday, May 20 2008.

I am, it turns out, obsessed with lazy eyes. I hadn't realized as much, until Jess pointed out the frequency and gleefulness with which I observe them - from celebrities (god bless you, Paris Hilton) to passersby on the street.

But any time I observe ailments in others, I can't help but worry I possess the same myself. A close-talker with halitosis invariably leaves me cupping my mouth and nose to test my own breath.

So the wall-eye obsession is a double-edged sword. Sure, I find unexpected joy in Tina Fey's outward-swinging eyeballs. But, at the same time, they leave me scheming methods for candid self-portraits, where I might catch such previously undiagnosed strabismus in myself.