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[Bemusedly Shaking Head]
Filed Monday, January 9 2006.

Why, in short, I'm not a member of the Yale Club of New York:

“Blazers & Bling” All-Ivy Dance at The Yale Club

Friday, February 24, 9:00 pm - 1:00 am

The Yale Club turns into a nightclub for an evening of preppy fabulous fun. Roll up in your Benz to the Tap Room where young members from the Ivy League circuit will be chillin. Once (and if!) you get past the velvet ropes, the DJ will be spinning four hours of hot tracks to get your freak on. Early birds are in for a treat since Patrón Tequila is sponsoring a complimentary open bar until 10:00 pm. Starting with the Patrón Spirits Company will make your night “Simply Perfect.” Beer, wine, and soda are included throughout the night along with other discount drink specials. If you dare, don your Prada sunglasses in the roped-off VIP area, where bottle service will be available for big spenders. Complimentary hors d’oeuvres including cheese and chocolate fondue are included. The cost is $30 in advance or $40 at the door, cash only, at the bouncer’s discretion, open only to Ivy Club members and their guests (Club I.D. required). Bring five of your friends and you come free. The dress code is “preppy fabulous,” so wear your best blazer, status denim, and iced out jewels to rock Club YC. Dressed to the 9’s in your finest Louis Vuitton or Lilly Pulitzer, be prepared to dance the night away on Vandy Avenue. Word up, you Ivy playas…

Sadly, I'm not making that up.